Hello changemakers 👋

This week, I want to dive into a topic that can truly transform your life: overcoming self-defeating behaviours. We all have those habits that hold us back, whether it's procrastination, binge eating or endless scrolling (that’s the main one I’m trying to overcome lately…). So I feel it's time to break free from these patterns and step into the best version of ourselves.

I’ve been reading a bit around this topic and made some notes for myself on key strategies that can help in getting rid of these self-defeating behaviours once and for all. And I thought it would be nice to share with you. So here we go!

1. Identify Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviours

First things first, let's pinpoint what’s holding you back. What are those habits you need to shed to become your best self? Don’t just rely on your personal view and ask those close to you: “Where do you think I sabotage my own success?”. You might be surprised by the insights you receive by people who see you from their own perspective.

2. Know Your Triggers

Next, understand what triggers these behaviours. Is it stress? Is it boredom? Maybe something else? In my case I’d say is stress from work, so I could think that my solution is leaving my job. But that would probably create other problems also leading to stress.

That’s why experts recommend that instead of trying to change the trigger, is better to focus on changing your reaction. Swap out the negative behaviour with a positive one. For example, if stress makes you reach for the phone, try hiding the phone from you and going for a walk instead.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Develop the ability to quiet your mind, especially in moments of anxiety or frustration. There’s plenty of apps out there that can help with this, Headspace being probably the most famous one. Mindfulness and meditation can be powerful tools to help you stay calm and focused, making it easier to avoid self-defeating behaviours.

Not an easy one I must admit, at least personally I struggle to be consistent in practicing meditation. So what I do, I try to force myself to do just one minute of meditation. And most often than not, that minute becomes 4-5 minutes, sometimes even 10. And for those days that it’s only one minute, that’s also fine. One is still better than zero, so I try to not beat myself up on it.

4. Take Small Steps and Set Realistic Goals

Set small, achievable goals. Break down your big goals into manageable steps. If you want to write a book, start by writing a quarter of a page each day. Trying to go too big can lead to being overwhelmed, and triggering that stress that leads to you grabbing your phone and getting lost in endless scrolling. Small steps lead to big achievements. And again, even if you only do one very small step, one is still better than zero, remember that.

5. Be Persistent

Persistence is key. Self-defeating behaviours can be deeply entrenched, but don’t let initial failures stop you. Remember the proverb: “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” Keep trying, and don’t give up.

By implementing these strategies, I’m sure you can defeat the beast of self-destruction inside you and start building discipline, master self-control, and increase your willpower.

The journey probably won’t be easy - neither is it for me, so I fully get you :) But I do think the reward of becoming your best self is worth the effort, and that keeps my motivation alive. And I hope it does the same for you!

Wishing you a transformative week,

Ignasi 🚀

Things I’m liking this week 🥰

• 📜 Article: Set These 5 Boundaries Before You Go on Vacation Summer holidays are approaching (for some of you probably have even started and might be gone even). This article from Marlo Lyons for HBR has some great tips on how to make sure you fully disconnect from work during your vacation time, which is something I usually struggle with.

  Personally, the last tip on sending a final reminder one week before fully being off has worked wonders for me, making sure people understand how much time they have to ask me questions before I go, and ensure they dedicate time to think ahead.

• 🎤 Podcast: I’ve been listening to Cal Newport in his recent episode for Ali Abdaal’s podcast Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal, and like always I left with a page full of notes with tips & tricks from Cal on how to improve my productivity and manage my time effectively. I might do a newsletter on it in the future, but for now I fully recommend listening to this episode if you want to maximise your time.

Question of the week 🤔

How do you typically react to your triggers, and what positive behavior can you swap in to replace a negative reaction?

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